I was thinking the other day (a rare occurence, I know) that with all the time that the Doherty cove is taking up within the court system, and the time spent by the police nicking him every time he breathes, he really ought to give somthing back to the community. And I'm not taking about his wanky, fey, indie whinings. So here I put foward my ideas for what he should do as payback:

1. Be a draught excluder.
C'mon now, the guy is thin as a rake, and would be perfect laid down, covering the gap under my door. And it would have the added bonus that I could kick the cunt in the face every time I enter/leave the room. Everyone's a winner!

2. Be a pin cushion for old women.
It wouldn't be the first time he's had to deal with a little prick...

3. Support (anti) immigration.
Use him on posters for distribution in eastern European countries, to show just what our society regards as success. Looking at a picture of him they might send us food parcels.

4. Use him to scare kids on a ghost train.
I've got skiddies just thinking of that sweaty, pallid, complexion.

5. Send him as a wandering minstrel to Iraq
Listening to two minutes of his insipid, unispired, whimpering would have the insurgents giving up their arms, and renouncing their faith, just to shut the fucker up. Or, at the very least, they might do a Ken Bigley on him.

C'mon Pete, you owe it to us all, doing something for the people.