This is one grumpy who has decided to retire.I don't mind writing this drivil every now and then if i know there will be another grumpy to play out with.So seeing that you miserable bastards can't be bothered making any comments, i'll be on me way then. Merry Christmas and that sort of thing.
Regards,designeroldie aka stiffrichard.

Christmas is a great time of the year for most high street stores but it can be a nightmare for we grumpies.This morning for instance i bought two dvd's of the same title for family Christmas presents.When i got home i had a look at the discs which i always do when buying from HMV. Both to my annoyance but not to my surprise were covered in finger prints.
Arriving back at the shop to change the said items i was served by a young assistant, probably a Christmas relief worker as i havent seen her before.I asked her to examine the dvd's which she did, "just one or two finger marks that's all" she said.The items are new i assume? I said,if so they should not have paw marks or any other blemishes on them!" "Have you tried cleaning them with a cloth? she replied. We sell them downstairs in the other department" "Strangely enough, i chipped in. When buying your dvd's i didnt know i had to purchase a cleaning kit in order for them to be an exceptable Christmas gift.There is no mention of this in your tv ads!"

Why don't we hear people telling jokes these days? You might say that there isn't anything to laugh about anymore.What with the threat of terrorist attacks, Bird flu,Tony Blaire and the X Factor, the outlook does appear to be on the gloomy side.But we should be use to long periods of melancholia by now don't you think?
As a grumpy old git i find it disconcerting that everyone around me, bar myself of course, are no longer laughing and telling funny stories anymore.
As grumpy i feel cheated because i rather enjoyed being that "miserable old fart over there" when everyone else were having the time of their lives.
So let us have some grumpy humor for a change on the run up to what must be the worst time of the year for we grumpies, bloody Christmas

Ken Dodd hit the nail on the head when he defined the phrase "alternative comedy" He stated "in alternative comedy,is only every other joke funny?"
But to take this a step further so called alternative comedians never tell jokes.Their humour such as it is, is based on observations. Well all i can say to this is that most of them should visit an optician.
The likes of Ben Elton have completely cut the comedy scene to shreads. Elton for instance went out of his way to finish off the career of Benny Hill in my opinion.Elton got on his PC bandwagon to show he was a new radical and that he would have non of these sexist bastards cluttering up our television screens.
He force fed us on socialism at every opportunity. But now he is a very rich socialist he is remarkably quiet.
What the hell is wrong anyway with a good tasteless mother in law gag? Why shouldn't seasoned comics like Bernard Manning, Chubby brown and Jim Davidson be allowed to get some air time if they tone down their act a bit. After all there is obviously a demand for them , they are working non stop all the year round.
I am sick of seeing cornball comics like Peter Kay on the telle all the time.I watched one of his DVD lately and it was as if i had taken the kids off to see a panto.
If this is an example of modern comedy then i shall put on my headphones and listen to Round The Horne, Hancock and The Goons.

Ken Dodd hit the nail on the head when he defined the phrase "alternative comedy" He stated "in alternative comedy,is only every other joke funny?"
But to take this a step further so called alternative comedians never tell jokes.Their humour such as it is, is based on observations. Well all i can say to this is that most of them should visit an optician.
The likes of Ben Elton have completely cut the comedy scene to shreads. Elton for instance went out of his way to finish off the career of Benny Hill in my opinion.Elton got on his PC bandwagon to show he was a new radical and that he would have non of these sexist bastards cluttering up our television screens.
He force fed us on socialism at every opportunity. But now he is a very rich socialist he is remarkably quiet.
What the hell is wrong anyway with a good tasteless mother in law gag? Why shouldn't seasoned comics like Bernard Manning, Chubby brown and Jim Davidson be allowed to get some air time if they tone down their act a bit. After all there is obviously a demand for them , they are working non stop all the year round.
I am sick of seeing cornball comics like Peter Kay on the telle all the time.I watched one of his DVD lately and it was as if i had taken the kids off to see a panto.
If this is an example of modern comedy then i shall put on my headphones and listen to Round The Horne, Hancock and The Goons.